An open letter to the conservative men of America


The Fifth Column

Quiet Mike – Erin Nanasi

Dear Conservative Man,

As I write this, you are probably gearing up for your 4th of July celebration. Perhaps you have reverently hung the Chinese-made American flag you whip out for holidays. You might be lovingly staring at that Stars and Stripes shirt you bought at Walmart (made in Taiwan), or maybe you’ve dug out the silver-plated bald eagle belt buckle to polish, which was machine tooled in Malaysia. You are showing your patriotism… for China, Malaysia and Taiwan.

Do you have fireworks? I bet you headed over the state line to pick up the “fun” stuff, didn’t you? Who cares that your neighbor is an Iraq war vet with PTSD who reacts very badly to loud noises. He’s an unemployed slacker, living off the “teat,” as you and your conservative buddies so eloquently put it.

By God, if you hadn’t had those bunions during…

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